CAT.PEE
        a play
                in one act 

        by
                        martin
                          fehebiel

(The Universe has compounded to a single atom, and we are within it.  As
electrons spin around around the stage and over the audience, we notice
two figures sitting, Gary and Melanin, atop beanbag chairs and both
within a wide spotlight.)

Gary: (Musing, stroking her chin) I have no need for this conjecture.

Melanin: (Singing) You must understand my thighs!

(Melanin alights from his beanbag and begins removing his clothes. Gary
and her beanbag chair begin to slowly rotate.)

Gary: Pozzo, tell them what they've won!

(Focused spot to stage left, Pozzo wearing hat.)

Pozzo: IT IS AN ENIGMA!

(Focused spot to stage right, Mr. Tambourine Man dressed in coconut bra
and grass hula skirt, covered in tambourines. Gary's rotation increases
in speed, and Melanin, now stripped to underwear, begins very slowly to
dance upstage towards center)

Mr. Tambourine Man: It is not the time for feelings, but rather I remind
you to touch your friends!  There are many in this world who are unable
to comprehend the very nature of affection, and they go wandering beyond
the days and nights with gazes cast askance from that which would
comfort them! Yea and verily, touch your friends!  Their eager hearts
demand it, and must--

Melanin: (interrupting loudly, center stage immediately before audience)
I HAVE DISCOVERED THE CURE FOR PYJAMAS!

(the curtain falls abruptly)